Sunday, 14 August 2011

I Like Gervinho Already

I like the looks of Gervinho.

Not his actual looks. Because to be honest, he is quite an ugly bastard.

But I like the way he plays football.

And I also like the fact that he bitch slapped Joey Barton with an open hand.

Very WWE indeed.

Usually players from abroad need a period of settling in. They need time to adjust to the way English football is played.

I think that Gervinho will hit the ground running. Or he will hit Joey Barton again. One or the other.

I was very impressed with him yesterday. Almost as impressed as when the barmaid in the boozer I was drinking in bent over and I saw her thong.

It was blue by the way.

Gervinho appeared more direct than Mike Ashleys very own Sports Direct empire.

And that is a welcome change from 'crab football'.

Arsene Wenger has done a good bit of business here.

I only hope that he doesn't try to turn Gervinho into a left-back or something like he tried to turn Nikki B into a winger.

Its a shame he was red-carded, although to be fair if you strike someone in the face then the rules are clear. Its a straight dismissal.

I only wish that he proper, and I mean proper, knocked Barton out.

It would have been banter if he had ripped off his shirt Hulk Hogan style and performed a Suplex or a DDT on the little mug.

I couldn't see the logic when we were after Gervinho at first. Then again I couldn't see the logic of Ryan Giggs doing Imogen (but then I realised that she is lovely).

But he is something that we needed. A direct player who runs at people scaring the shit out of them.

And lets face it, John Terry and co will be bricking it because they've seen how hard Gervinho can slap.

After his 'rest' I'm sure Gervinho will impress me even more. That doesn't take a lot though.

Keep It Goonerish......










37 comments:

Clarkey said...

Myles Palmer approves.

Anonymous said...

But he is something that we needed. A direct player who runs at people scaring the shit out of them.

And lets face it, John Terry and co will be bricking it because they've seen how hard Gervinho can slap.

LOOOOOOOOOL.. its way too funny! When I read these two bits I was just creasing

Anonymous said...

I also approve......

Anonymous said...

It's like we have bought him to scare the players away :D

Anonymous said...

I was very impressed with him yesterday. Almost as impressed as when the barmaid in the boozer I was drinking in bent over and I saw her thong.

Ha ha

Anonymous said...

It's like having a Predator (the movie kind) running at you. Let's face it Arnie shat himself

Kizito! said...

Super duper awesome Ian, you have made my weekend, another super blog!

Wrighty7 said...

Ha ha I'm not Ian but thanks!

Maverick said...

I tell you what would have been better though, instead of the slap he shouldda headbutt the ****er, just imagine that he would be in intensive care after having that forehead coming at the bridge of your nose at 100mph............i would have of got up shouting **** YEAH, dirty bastard Barton!!

Anonymous said...

He is a quality signing, he is looking to play soccer, i don't know where this guy Barton comes from with is problems to have him book. i think Barton is racist, i hope the FA sees that Gervinho was provoked.

Anonymous said...

Bravo! Gervinho slapped the thug barton who then felled to the ground !! - (never mind the play-acting).

Gervinho wouldnt be a man if he didnt react somewhat to the thug!

Actually, the thug pulled Gervinho so closely..I would have preferred Gervinho kissed and bit barton's lips! That would be something! LOL.

Anonymous said...

i think with gervinho and walcott on our starting 11, we will be more direct than usual. rosicky should start ahead of ramsey, he can control midfield better.

Kizito! said...

lol, now Wright Ian is one i referred to....my bad! I think frimpong would not slap the thug, but throw some blows as well......a right or left hook, to get Barton really down, no acting!

Anonymous said...

BARTON IS RACIST.....WITHOUT A DOUBT, GERVINHO WONT GET THE HYPE BECAUSE HE IS NOT ENGLISH, HE DID WELL IN THE WORLD CUP SOMETHING ENGLAND PLAYERS FAILED TO DO....BARTON IS SORRY HE IS A BRASS ENGLISH FOOL

Anonymous said...

Was the blue thong edged in lace and the arse crack as wide as Gerv's forehead?

Anonymous said...

I approve. Gervinho FTW!

Wrighty7 said...

Nothing is as wide as that forehead

Anonymous said...

Gervinho impressive already, just imagine full like this.

Anonymous said...

Just a shqme he wont be running at the liverpool and united defences this month especially as.uniteds is.going to be weak.end.

Anonymous said...

i loved this article just like i loved gervi's game

Anonymous said...

Brilliant ~I only wish he had knocked the twittering fool out ~ if your gonna get banned at least make it worth your while, i like Gerv, he's gonna scare the crap put of some dodgy defences

Anonymous said...

i really laughed sooooooooooo deep for the article and the comments very nice and thank you.
keep it gonnerish

Anonymous said...

Keep your articles as light-hearted as this one. It will save you having to explain being wrong for the last 6 years. -Ramgun

Anonymous said...

I always like it when a girl bends over and she flashes her thong at you.


charybdis1966

Anonymous said...

funny stuff man...keep it up. I myself am a big fan of Gervinho's but do still feel that he needs to be more relentless and drive at the goal sometimes rather than getting it tangled in his fee;, that will come though i'm sure.

SierrA ManiaC said...

Strange are the rules of British football and stranger are the linesmen and the referee. Rather strange is a strange word to use, they are all dirty old a******s.

I believe its high time Premier League has some kind of super forum to decide on these kind of incidents. If Gervinho gets a Red then well well Barton oughtta be outa games for couple of weeks atleast.

I believe its the way the referees intimidate newer Arsenal players.

Remember last season Koscielny was sent off against Liverpool and if yesterday's game was a set standard then Laurent Koscielny deserved a better treatment.

silver0.1 said...

Someone said headbut Barton, have you seen the size of Gervinho's forhead......! He would av put Barton in a coma for a few years.... I thought the reason for the transfer was to make the squad stronger...? I'v been herring the name Teves being mentioned, yes a fantastic player not sure about his temperament I also believe the love story will be one sided. 

One more thing that was bugging me for a long time now, I thought I seen Gervnioh somewhere before.... I couldn't put my finger on it... And then it came to me like a eureka moment it's 
BACARY SAGNA's twin brother...!

Anonymous said...

You know what will happen though. Barton is coming here. Otherwise why all the smiles and handshakes. And wenger who usually goes ballistic...was almost apologotic to ask for his red card. I think he is coming.

Anonymous said...

Funny as fk!!!!!! With that forehead and that hair the man is like a preditor. I want more, even if aw has signed him jus to beat Barton round his piss poor haircut bonce!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

The Diving fairy? he will fit in great with your crowd of gals

Anonymous said...

Barton is not going to play with a bunch of guys that dance naked together as admitted by Arshavin.

Face it, Arsenal is a girls club

Anonymous said...

My sack stings you cunt

Anonymous said...

Brilliant, best blog ever, keep it going. DC

Anonymous said...

As an Arsenal fan, I don't think I've ever been this despondent.

Gervinho was as expected: pacy, direct but clueless. His vision, decisions and crossing were poor. Another painfully average player.

For a decent price, of course Cesc had to leave given his desire to go back to his home town and play with the team of players at Barca (and who could blame him?), but his feelings have been clear for over a season and Arsene Wenger should have been ready for this from the start of the transfer window.

The Newcastle match was a pathetic game of football - Arsenal are in real trouble. The squad is littered with ineffectual sicknotes like Diaby, Rosicky, Djourou. Gibbs is a decent player but he's unproven. Chamakh and Squillaci have been awful. Let's face it: this is an average team that will have to fight tooth and nail to make the top 4 this season when we should be challenging for the title. RVP is a genius and Wilshere is a wonderful player who'll get even better, but those are the only bright sparks. Also perhaps Arshavin if he gets his act together and Koscielny (who neutralised Messi brilliantly in the first leg last season and in general is underrated).

I have an enormous amount of respect and love for Wenger, and it fills me with great sadness to know that he's going to persevere in his bubble. I have defended him until this season, but now I question his ambition, vision and ability to rebuild a team that's in desperate need of it. There must be sizeable transfer funds available to him and it's crazy to think that the current team can't be improved on within a budget- not for the future, for this season. And if the funds are not available, why the fuck not given the financial stability (as seen in their own reports) of the club?

If only this current Arsenal squad's football were consistently beautiful to watch and they were just unlucky and/or immature. The reality though is that they're just not very good. The kind of style over substance we've had for several seasons was bearable because it was mental strength letting down technical beauty, with potential, but now we have nothing. Now we have to watch players like Song, Gibbs, Diaby, Gervinho, Walcott, Rosicky try to be world class, and hope that a promising 18 year old from Japan hits the ground running. We could sign Mata to replace Nasri, and Hamsik or even Jadson to take Cesc's place, and still make money this summer, but we won't. Because Wenger has looked at all of the stats and seen that the improvement per million spent isn't worth it at the prices asked for them. Empirical wisdom is all well and good, but not good enough when you aren't even coming close to winning serious trophies. I despair.

What people who still defend Arsene's plan are effectively saying is that we as supporters should realign our expectations to simply a Champions League spot and hope for a good cup run in the knockout stages where anything can happen. Arsenal is a bigger club than that (and a significant reason for that is Wenger himself), but this might be the last season I can say that.

Anonymous said...

Very immatured to ridicule a players appearance.who gives a f#ck.stupid.

Steveo said...

Does anyone else think Barton looks like Sid the Sexist's mate Baz with his cool new haircut? (He's the one right next to Sid in this pic and another Geordie legend.).

http://www.fazers.net/showthread.php?9407-Sid-The-Sexist-VHS-Rip

It was definitely in the racist little toerag's mind to either have his barnet done skinhead or like Hitler and the feeble minded little tossrag just got confused and had both.

Gervinho should have just pumped his fist straight through his face and out the back of his idiotic skull, but a bitchslap will do for starters. Good work fella.

Nice article Wrighty.

Squad said...

Keep your articles as light-hearted as this one. It will save you having to explain being wrong for the last 6 years. -Ramgun