Sunday, 9 January 2011

Barcelona Striker Lionel Messi Agrees To Join Arsenal On Five-Year Deal - Report

Lionel Messi has agreed to leave Barcelona for Arsenal and will move to the Emirates Stadium in the summer.

The Sunday Bullshit claims the Argentine international will don the famous red and white shirt next season after agreeing a deal with the North London giants.

The 23-year-old will also be given the number 100 jersey and is expected to pen a twenty year deal until June 2031.

However, Arsenal will have to negotiate a transfer with Barcelona who would be resistant to a move.

But, £10.74 and a packet of Pickled Onion flavour Monster Munch could be enough to convince L'equip Blaugrana into parting company with their man.

Keep It Goonerish.........

81 comments:

Anonymous said...

about time sites started doing the same lol

Anonymous said...

Damn you, I got excited!

Anonymous said...

haha

take that www.owngoal.com/shitreports. f*ck b*rca!

Anonymous said...

I have been waiting for this story!

Anonymous said...

LOL

Wrighty7 said...

I know someone who works for The Daily Bullshit and apparently this deal is watertight.

Anonymous said...

My milkman's friend who has a second cousin twice removed in Barcelona says that this is defintely happening. He believes that Barcelona have made a 80 Million plus Messi for Cesc. TH14 says "this would be a fantastic deal for Messi, and has spoken to Messi who really wants Arsenal", but the deal is still being negotiated as Arsenal made 56M profit last year, AW, the board and the supporters are also opposed to the deal.


Influently supporters in the City of London say if the deal goes forward that they will cause a run on the Spainish bond market to move them towards a Greek type crisis.

Mem said...

Ha ha! A taste of their own medicine!

Anonymous said...

is this true?

Wrighty7 said...

Yes. It is true.

darktheory said...

This is funny stuff. Wrighty get yourself on twitter mate and join the Arsenal community.

Anonymous said...

£10.74 AND a packet of Pickled Onion flavour Monster Munch?????

I'd rather keep the crisps

straw said...

Trouble is denilson is going the other way

straw said...

Arsenal in his DNA apparently...

Wrighty7 said...

I gotta admit, I've fancied a bit of twitter for a while.

Will look into it.

straw said...

Yeah I,m off for a twit....

Anonymous said...

He doesn't no who arse anal are ballbag

Anonymous said...

Messi will spunk all over u lot in a few weeks.ar2ena3 = bum boys that look up to a pedo

Anonymous said...

Nice intelligent comments there from anons. Get on twitter wrighty, if inky to read chesneys comments. He's hilarious!

-Scooch

tonyss said...

Great article. One think that puzzles me is the amount of comments on our blogs from sperz fans. Do they not find their own blogs interesting...............in hindsight, probably not!!!!

Anonymous said...

Up the arse!

straw said...

Top comments from the sp*d cnts!!

metalhead said...

Ha ha good one Wrighty

Anonymous said...

F**k u all gooners...baby soccer academy...BARCA will punish u in february!

tom10 said...

apparently it's lionel messi's twin brother, Real messy...COME ON...

Anonymous said...

Yeah i heard its 2 b completed in dis transfer window along with ronaldo nd diaby swap dea :P

Danish Gooner said...

Filthy,dirty,pathetic we will rule the world because we say so catalunya scum.

Anonymous said...

waw here's the confirmation of my thoughts!

i saw messi, his agent and sandra rossel the cunt having a pint with wenger in a local islington pub.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHHAHAHA, quality!!

Albeit a piss take, its so true too!

Anonymous said...

is this true. iam very suprised

Anonymous said...

is this true. iam very suprised

Anonymous said...

DONT LIE!! he will never come to us because he will struggle for a game behind Bendtner and Vela, and Barca want £12 but we are holding out for £10.50........sheesh get your facts straight before you post such stuff!!

Anonymous said...

I hope AW reject him, we have Mark Randall who is Far Better, Younger and Smarter.

Anonymous said...

Ha ha Wrighty, love it ! I'll think he'll have to wait his turn behind Cedric Evina first though. Charybdis1966.

Anonymous said...

this is ll getting very messi,if we cant find a place for him up front he can go in goal

Anonymous said...

STOP PRESS: Arry as bidded an extra 10 quid at last minute so Messi's goin to SPURS now. Danny Levi found the extra cash on the platform at King's Cross. Arry Says Messi's a triffic lad, fell in love with the backstreets of Upper Clapton when he got lost looking for White Hart Lane, and will fit in nice with Lukaxcxz Modritch, Becks and the rest of the boys a treat apart from Keane and Bentley who he's flogging off to Leeds in time for their FAC replay with Arsenal, and so that he can buy them back for a profit at the end of the season.

Anonymous said...

STOP PRESS: Arry as bidded an extra 10 quid at last minute so Messi's goin to SPURS now. Danny Levi found the extra cash on the platform at King's Cross. Arry Says Messi's a triffic lad, fell in love with the backstreets of Upper Clapton when he got lost looking for White Hart Lane, and will fit in nice with Lukaxcxz Modritch, Becks and the rest of the boys a treat apart from Keane and Bentley who he's flogging off to Leeds in time for their FAC replay with Arsenal, and so that he can buy them back for a profit at the end of the season.

Lana said...

haha, priceless!!

Anonymous said...

Mate we dont need him for 20 years. 10 years would do just fine.

Don Franco said...

Suck my balls barcelona! Keep that little rumplestiltskin mofo messi!

Anonymous said...

messi's mama just married an old english gentleman in london. She insisted that her boy come over immediately to be near her - after all he's mama's boy, - and he can play for arsenal, cos she fancies wenger as a great manager and likes to look of the emirates.

Anonymous said...

That is fucking awesome...gr8 way to fuck barca up and leave our capitain alone...GUNNERS FTW!

avr said...

haha...thts a good one..
Hehe seems like finally we have our own Media manipulation techniques now.

Anonymous said...

stupid article
do you really believe Messi would join a trophyless bunch of idiots and leave his trophy collecting team?

it is believable cesc wants to leave. you would too if you had to play with denilson everytime

Anonymous said...

can i request you do a proper one of these with Iniesta, citing agent names and 'source close to the players' as they places you got your info from.
2 can play this game. lets do it. when you can't beat them...join them.

Anonymous said...

Barcelona and the Spuds are classless CUNTS!!!!!

Polish Gunner said...

Excellent stuff! Shame that some filthy spuds are inviting themselves in to OUR sites making comments about topic they haven't got a clue about, ie Football.

Anonymous said...

this story has just been confirmed to me by an estate agent who has just shown Messi round a £2m house in Highgate

Messi was said to be very excited by the British diet and climate

three cheers for Wrighty's scoop

AttiKush said...

Latest news just came in from 'The occasional mirror' that Barca r so desperate for cesc that they r offering him:

Xavi+Iniesta+Villa+Messi+their own secret copy of 'How to keep diving in a game - the art of diving more than 20 times a game'

Anonymous said...

Its true. Apparently he addressed Puyol as 'mate' during training last week.

Surrey Gunner said...

Josep Guardiola says he want to join Arsenal as the Director of Acedemy development after this season. Mascherano a close friend and supporter of Arsenal said that he thinks this is possible at the end of the year, as all the Barcelona time dream about Arsenal and see it as a natural development for an aspiring Barcelona team member.

Jay said...

If this rumour is true then the North London derby is going to be very exciting because I am a spurs insider with news that we are closing in on Cristiano Ronaldo we are going to do a straight swap with Robbie Keane and Bentleys twittering girlfriend, it works out ideal because the Madrid boys can doggy Miss Bentley and Keane can use all there great disabled features that can help him get around the place abit better.
Ronaldo wont get in our team with Townsend after yesterday, we have 2 Bales now

Anonymous said...

Surely Beef monster munch instead of pickled onion would seal the deal

Anonymous said...

I am sure all these is just Bull,,, I wish it could be true !I am great fan of Messey cause he got no messy !

Anonymous said...

I am sure all these is just Bull,,, I wish it could be true !I am great fan of Messey cause he got no messy !

Anonymous said...

He he he he.

If i can be serious for a moment, i sincerely hope Messi never comes to play in England. Imagine someone signing him only for craftless clowns like Karl Henry, Jon Obi Mikel and Joey Barton to consistantly flatten him.

As a Manchester City fan, however, it's pretty exciting to think that if he does ever come available we're the only club in the world who could (and would) sign him.

Good luck finishing 4th, you negative whingebags!

Anonymous said...

Hahahahaha that's a good one. A man city fan calling us negative, must have missed the attack vs defence, I mean Arsenal - Man City game where Mancini had strictly instructed his players to treat the Arsenal half like a corner shop...no more than two in it at a time.

Anonymous said...

cant believe how arrogant Barca have become, almost as bad as RM. The article saying your captain was going to Barca was an insult. They did the same with Mascerano (how is playing shit for them!!) I hope you guys trounce them in the CL like Inter did last year. LFC fan

Anonymous said...

lol..from a barca fan!!

sashi said...

arsenal fans should understand that its the media that create all this crap and not the club itself and for that sake at least, you ppl should stop abusing Barca..

Pat said...

I'm not sure this is true because you said a "five year deal" in the headline, but a "20 year deal" in the article.

Are you pulling our legs????

Anonymous said...

its a pity a city fan forgot to name a de jong on top of the killers list...damn retarded city fan...m.goal n barca should jst go on and fuck themselves in a cheap hotel

Sola Alacrity said...

Sola Alacrity

this is a life time offer for messi to play in the best league n which must not be rejected n i think dt Xavi and Inesita should be included in the package (like lucrative deal for Zlatan ) if truly cesc is needed in Barce

Raif said...

Hahahahahahahahaha that's fucking excellent lmaoooo

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm,i dont think it will come to pass my friends!!!,but i pray it happens because i will be the happiest man on earth...God bliss Arsenal.

Anonymous said...

Wrighty - I've just written a follow up article based on your exclusive - hope you liked it !

http://arsenalarsenal.wordpress.com/2011/01/11/messi-transfer-to-north-london-aa-exclusive-%e2%80%9ci-need-a-challenge%e2%80%9d/#comments

charybdis1966

Riccardo Troiani said...

Hi mate, your link is in my blogroll...thanks
link: www.sportcity-ricio.blogspot.com
anchor text: Risultati Serie A
let me know when the exchange is done...

Anonymous said...

As if Messi will go to Arsenal, DREAM ON SCUM BAGS

Anonymous said...

arsenal are shit f**king shit

Anonymous said...

really came on im an arsenal fan very big fan,ok im not happy with wenger at all i used to have a lot of respect for that man but now i lost all respect towards wenger cos he aint spending,our team iz rubish,well apart from van perse,walcot,nasri n ashivin this players are bad boys for sure,i dnt think we should sell ashivin his a good player so we should keep him,as for sesc our captn i dnt know wots going on with him as a huge arsenal fan i was very proud to b an arsenal fan cos of sesc but now his rubish,but the best player is got to be van perse his a true bad boy he always put ball back of the net n he scores same amazing goals i would love to play with van perse i have a lots of respect for van perse thats what arsenal needs more players like van perse,and as for this rubish about messi caming to arsenal,came on guys do u really think messi the bad boy will came to arsenal?if wenger gets messi i tell u what then wenger will get all my respect back towards him,van perse needs a gd partner who can keep up with him or wenger should try to play 4-4-2 n put van perse and ashivin in front trust me they will make problames towards other teams trust,wenger get big players stop messing us about.

Anonymous said...

dont sell ashivin wenger his a very good player and get kaka

Anonymous said...

How do you know it's true

Anonymous said...

whata heck.
i thought it was real!

Anonymous said...

Thas was up we need messi

desalegn assefa said...

i hope u 4 get say lol!

Esther said...

I believe everybody should browse on it.

Morris said...

lol..from a barca fan!!

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