Just Set A Deadline For Gawds Sake!

This Cesc Fabregas saga is beginning to do my head in a little bit.

I'm starting to feel like I'm having a Déjà vu.

I'm starting to feel like I'm having a Déjà vu........eh? I swear I wrote that a minute ago.

To be honest I'm still very confident that Cesc will be an Arsenal player next season.

I know he is suffering at Arsenal, so much so he'd rather join Millwall than stay with us, but unfortunately Barcelona don't seem to value him that much.

If they did, then they would put his transfer as a priority over the Sanchez deal.

Instead they continue to flirt with Cesc like the time, and I swear on this, Rihanna did with me in a strip club one night.

Then I woke up. Sweating.

Barcelona continue to flash their knickers at our skipper in the hope he will put in a transfer request to pull those knickers down.

Well, I can't see him doing that because;

A) Despite him being in an Arsenal 'hell' he does genuinely love us,

and,

B) By all accounts he has a mega monster munch whack of loyalty money he would miss out on if he asked for a transfer.

Now Pep Guardiola has said his club have until 31 August to do a deal with us for Cesc.

Arsenal should say bollocks to that. And they should say it in public too.

And by the way, I would love to see Arsene Wenger saying bollocks.

Call a press conference and tell the whole wide world and its entire stinking existence that Barca have until 30 July to meet our terms or they can just jog on.

After that date we will ignore them like my guvnor does me when I ask for a pay-rise.

This saga is taking over our summer and I'm sure that preparations for the new season must be being affected by it.

If we are spending all our time fighting Barca off then how can we concentrate on getting the players in that we need?

Also these players might want to see if Cesc is still at Arsenal before they sign.

It is fast turning into Farcelona more than Barcelona and this farce needs to end before I go more loco than Britney Spears.

Keep It Goonerish........

Yeah, Course We've Been Snubbed By Phil Jagielka!

So Arsenal have been snubbed by Phil Jagielka apparently because of our 'fading appeal'.

I'm sorry, but I haven't seen anything as funny as this since I saw those newly weds dancing to 'I like big butts' on Youtube.

Seriously, I'm not being arrogant here, do you honestly see Phil Jagielka turning down a move to Arsenal if the chance arose?

I like Everton, don't mind them at all, but I'm sure Jagielka would see Arsenal as a huge step up and any ambitious player would jump higher than an Olympic high jumper with a hot poker up his arse at the chance.

Maybe Arsenal have enquired about him in the past, I don't know, but I doubt very much that Arsene Wenger would put in a bid for him over £6-8m.

And that's a fee I'd agree with too.

The fee I've seen bandied about for him, £14-18m is more crazier than Tom Cruise on the Oprah Winfrey show during a sugar rush. Incredible.

I know what I find more credible, Arsenal refusing to meet that price and definitely NOT Jagielka rejecting us.

Yet again the 'knock Arsenal whilst they are supposedly down' bang-wagon is out in full force.

What next? Shaun Wright-Phillips rejecting us for Swindon Town?

I dunno, maybe it will be Stuart Downing favouring a move to Liverpool over us. Oh....wait.

Keep It Goonerish........

Wrighty7: Cesc Fabregas So Determined To Leave Arsenal He Would Be Willing To Move To Accrington Stanley

Accrington Stanley, who are they?

Exactly.

But I know for a FACT that Cesc would go there just to get out of his Arsenal 'hell'.

If I make things up like this more often do you think I could get a job as a 'journalist' with Sky Sports?

I only ask because their Spanish 'expert' Graham Hunter, aka Sloth from the Goonies, seems to love inventing stories and I'm sure he is highly paid for the privilege.

His most recent fairy-tale is that Cesc is soooo determined to leave Arsenal he would join Manchester City.

Even a deaf and blind Dalmatian with herpes could tell you that Fabregas would only leave Arsenal to join his boyhood club FC Barcelona.

Where does Sloth, I mean Hunter, get these ideas from?

I mean, do they just randomly pop into his egg head and the likes of Sky and Talksport fall for it?

Apparently he is well respected but I'm sorry, making stories up more fictional than Bugs Bunny doesn't make me respect him.

In my opinion he spouts more shit than an arsehole and I just can't take him seriously.

In fact, I believe he should change his name by deed poll to Graham Cunter. Because he is a massive c-word.

He is always trying to come out with these 'Spanish' exclusives.

Only last month Cunter was adament that Cesc made it 'absolutely clear he wants to go Barcelona".

What will it be next month? That paella is made mainly from rice?

Maybe I'm being a little harsh on the man. For all I know he might have been dropped on his head as a child and these 'illusons' just appear before him.

What I do know is that every transfer window since 1652 Graham Hunter has said that Cesc Fabregas is leaving Arsenal.

Of course I don't doubt that one day that will happen (and Cesc will join Barca NOT Man City) and Hunter can rejoice in his brilliant prediction that no one else predicted.

But is there any chance he could tone down the make believe stories please?

Otherwise Sky will drop the Revista De La Liga show and instead have the 'Graham Hunter Fibbing But Lets Show It Anyway Show'.

And I would cancel my Sky subscription if that happened.

Keep It Goonerish......

Let Arsene Wenger Work His Magic Charm!

I'm assuming that Samir Nasri and Arsene Wenger will be having a chat sometime soon.

A nice face to face talk with hopefully no slimy agents any where near the vicinity. I'm sure a Rottweiler or Martin Keown could guard the door.

We all know that Wenger can be very persuasive when he wants to be.

Players in the past have had their mind set on leaving only to be 'convinced' by Le Gaffer to remain at the club.

In Samir's case he says he wants Arsenal to strengthen the squad before he signs a new deal.

That is the biggest load of waffle, and not the Birds Eye potato kind, that I've ever heard.

A month ago he was saying that this Arsenal squad was the best in the league! The link is here.

It's simply a case of money.

Nasri's head has been turned by huge wage offers elsewhere because his agent has whored him around more than the P.I.M.P that is Snoop Dogg.

I can understand him thinking of the salary he could earn at a club like Manchester City but wouldn't it be refreshing if he turned his back on those riches?

That said he wouldn't be going skint at Arsenal would he?

It will be hard for Nasri to remain at the club.

He hasn't exactly endeared himself to the Gooner faithful but I'd say that maybe that is down to bad advice from his agent.

Nasri has alienated some Gooners just as much as ET alienated Elllllliott.

If he stays, and I'm sure that Wenger can persuade him too, it will take more than a six month cameo to win over those who doubt him.

There is loads of speculation but lets see what happens after Wenger has spoken to him.

Keep It Goonerish......

"I really believe if you are a player who thinks only about money then you could end up at Manchester City."

Words of wisdom?

Nope.

These words were spoken by Gael Clichy when Emmanuel Adebayor left us for Manchester City in 2009.

"I really believe if you are a player who thinks only about money then you could end up at Manchester City."

"You have to think if you want to play for a big club and have your image or if you want to play for a good club and earn big money."

"When you ask someone to move for something like £300,000 a week it is just crazy."

In the next few days I fully expect to hear how 'excited' he is to be part of Manchester City's crusade. Like a knight.

I just hope Clichy doesn't bad-mouth us in the future. It would be surprising if he did, but it wouldn't shock me.

I guess it just shows that money is the be-all and end-all of most footballers these days.

Even someone like Gael Clichy, someone I thought was loyal.

Keep It Goonerish.....