Here's some football jokes for you.....

There's not much going on today in the world of Arsenal so I thought I would amuse myself and hopefully you Gooners by posting some jokes!! Feel free to add your own. Although I draw the line at my blog being labelled a joke!!!

Q: How could you kill a Spurs fan when he's drinking?
A: Slam the toilet seat on his head.

The seven dwarves are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Tottenham are good enough to win the Premiership." Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

Four surgeons are taking a coffee break: 1st surgeon says "Accountants are the best to operate on because when you open them up, everything inside is numbered." 2nd surgeon says "Nah, librarians are the best. Everything inside them is in alphabetical order." 3rd surgeon says "Try electricians, man! Everything inside them is colour coded." 4th surgeon says "I prefer Man U fans. They're heartless, spineless, gutless and their heads and arses are interchangeable."

Q: When do Spurs kick off?
A: Every twenty minutes

Q: What's the difference between a Spurs fan and a Bucket of s**t?
A: The Bucket.

Q.What's the difference between a hedgehog and the Man U team bus?
A. The Man U bus has more pricks!

If your a Spurs fan, to save money on replica kits simply strap a large penis to your head and everyone will know who you support.....

What do you call a Chelsea fan with half a brain?
Gifted......

What do you say to a Scouser in a suit?
May the defendent please rise.....

Osama Bin Laden sent out a new video to prove he was still alive, in it he said SPURS were rubbish recently.

Britsh intelligence dissmissed it saying: ''That could have been recorded anytime in the last 8 years''...

Why do people take an instant dislike to Chelea..??
It saves time.....

Why do Spurs fans whistle on the toilet..??
So they know which end to wipe.....

How do the braincells of an Spurs fan die...??
Alone.....

Why did the Manchester United fan get sacked from the M & M factory...??
He kept throwing out the W's......

One day Tom Thumb, Snow White, and Quasimodo are sitting around talking. All of the sudden Tom Thumb says, "You know, how do I know I'm the world's smallest man? Maybe I'm NOT the world's smallest man". And he got very depressed.
Then Snow White says, "How do I know I'm the most beautiful woman in the world? Perhaps there is someone more beautiful than me!" And she got very depressed.
Quasimodo then said, 'How do I know I'm the world's ugliest person? Maybe there is someone uglier than me!" And he, too, sank into depression.
One week later the three were all killed in a car crash. While in Heaven's waiting room, they were all entitled to a private conference with God, who would answer for them one question. After Tom Thumb's conference, he came out smiling and said, "It's all right, I am the world's smallest man". Snow White left God's chamber smiling also, "It's ok,"
she said, "I am the fairest of them all". Quasimodo came out of his conference scratching his head. He looked at the others and asked, "Who the hell is Robbie Keane?"

Q: What do you get if you cross a Liverpool fan with a pig?
A: Thick bacon...

I hope I haven't offended anyone as that is not the reason for posting this article....I just wanted a bit of fun and anyw.....Actually I dont care!!!! Gooner for Life.....

Keep it Goonerish.......