Tuesday, 5 April 2011

How To Win In Madrid



(Cheers Gooner Chris!)

Keep It Goonerish........

Monday, 4 April 2011

Does This Kid Remind You Of Jack Wilshere?

Every time I see this Disneyland advert I can't help but think of Jack Wilshere.



About 12 seconds into the clip there is a little kid dancing about on the bed wearing blue and white checkered pyjamas.

My girlfriend can't see it but for some reason he really reminds me of Jacky boy!

I dunno if its the fact the child looks a little cheeky, and his barnet looks a little like Wilshere's does, but I think there is a resemblance there.

I swear if Jack scores this season and celebrates his goal like this boy celebrates going to Disneyland then I will piss my knickers.

Does anyone follow him on Twitter? If so could you pass a message on to him and see what he thinks.

Keep It Goonerish........

Sunday, 3 April 2011

Am I Bothered Though?

That killed me yesterday.

You would have thought that Arsenal were playing in a pre-season friendly the way they performed.

Arsene Wenger described the performance as 'flat'. Well I'd use another term to be honest. Very shit.

And that's being generous too.

I can't believe that the players were not up for this game. It was the start of a run of cup-finals and just like the Carling Cup final we didn't turn up.

My great, great, great, great, great great, great, great Nan has more urgency than that Arsenal side yesterday and she has been dead over 150 years. I think.

In the past Wenger has always advocated that this Arsenal squad has strong 'mental-strength'. They just drive me mental.

I will always support any player wearing an Arsenal shirt and I try my best to be upbeat in any given situation but yesterday I couldn't defend them.

The way the players strutted about made me feel more deflated than Donatella Versace lips after someone has attacked them with a pin.

Did they really care? Do they care enough? They talk a good game that's for sure.

I'm not going to jump on the Arsene Wenger out band-wagon that is gathering pace quicker than Road Runner can do the 100 metres but he needs to do something before its too late.

I know he isn't Merlin but we need him to do some magic.

The attitude of these players at the moment has to be questioned. I can't work whether they are bottle-jobs or just not bothered enough.

They are running out of opportunities and I'd say we are in last chance saloon now.

I really hope they are hurting like us Gooners are right now. They don't get the stick on a Monday morning at work like we do.

Keep It Goonerish.........

Monday, 28 March 2011

I Want Him As The Next Arsenal Manager

Did anyone else watch the programme on Sky Sports News about Thierry Henry just now?

He still holds a massive torch for Arsenal. Its bigger than the one the Statue of Liberty holds which is ironic given that Thierry plays in New York these days.

The man loves Arsenal so much and its great to see such a legend speak so fondly of the club.

Its clear, if possible, he would return to Arsenal in some capacity. He has even joked in the past that he would be the kit-man.

I'd go one further.

It might sound a little crazy, hell, it may be more loony than Tom Cruise and his Scientology pals, but I'd make him the next Arsenal manager.

Maybe I'm just feeling a little sentimental after watching my most favourite Arsenal player in my entire stinking existence on the TV but I would love Henry to be back with us one day.

As the gaffer.

Of course it would be a risk. Thierry would be a managerial rookie. He would have less experience than Frank Lampard has at a salad bar but I think its a risk worth taking.

People say he would be too nice, couldn't make the hard decisions, I disagree.

The next Arsenal gaffer has to have an affinity with the club. I don't see anyone out there who loves us as much as him.

He is an intelligent guy and with the right people surrounding him at the club I believe he could become an inspired choice.

Keep It Goonerish.......

Wednesday, 23 March 2011

I Think Nikki B Is On His Toes This Summer

It seems every week there is speculation about an Arsenal player leaving the club.

Most of the time we hear that Cesc Fabregas is on his way out. His Barcelona DNA, alongside Xavi and Iniesta, is dragging him back to Catalonia quicker than you can fart.

Nicklas Bendtner is always linked away with a move away too. The only difference between him and Cesc is that most Gooners, and his team-mates, are more than ready to help finance his departure.

The Dane has so much belief in himself it is untrue. It's just a shame his feet do not.

To be honest, I actually think there is a very good player deep down inside Nikki B. He may seem deluded at times but he there is a chance he might fulfil his own egos potential one day.

Unfortunately I reckon that will be away from Arsenal though.

Have you ever heard foxes mating? That awful sound? Well in the past Bendtner has made more racket than that.

His father (and agent) is even worse. He is louder than Ruby Wax with a fog horn on cocaine and speed.

Arsene Wenger might soon become tired of Nikki and his Dad's ramblings.

To get rid of the worst combined headache and earache the gaffer has ever had, he might consider letting the Danish striker go.

Even if most Gooners don't, I believe Wenger rates Nicklas highly.

Because of this Arsene will be reluctant to offload Bendtner but the constant badgering and undermining he receives through the press might make his decision for him.

The only other alternative is for the striker to sack his Dad as his agent or at least tell him to calm it down and stop larging it.

I don't think neither is an option really for Bendtner. I think we might see pigs flying first.

I've said I reckon that Arsene will have a bit of clear out from this squad in the summer. I reckon that Nikki B could well be on that list.

It would be a shame because I think he will eventually be a force in the game, just not at Arsenal.

Keep It Goonerish...........

Wednesday, 16 March 2011

The Remedy To End The 'Feud' Between Gooners

Make no mistake about it, there is a civil war amongst Gooners these days. Its almost as bad as America in 1861.

I would love for this conflict to end, I really would.

The split between Gooners amazes and saddens me at the same time. There appears to be no middle ground although that is where I firmly sit.

Following Arsenal's 'cup collapse', like a deck of cards, tensions are running deep. Some fans are furious whereas others are more optimistic.

I suppose it depends whether your glass is half-full or half-empty. Or if you prefer a bottle then I don't know where that leaves you.

As I've said before I can understand both sides of the argument.

For me I appreciate what Wenger has done for Arsenal, is doing for Arsenal but I also acknowledge his faults too.

Despite that something needs to be done to end this 'feud' between Gooners.

How do we stop the bickering? How do we stop any more blood from being shed?

Of course winning the title should repair a lot of the damage but I still don't think that would be enough.

In this day and age most clubs out there are spending more money than Frank Lampard does on Pukka Pies and what Wayne Rooneys splashes out on granny-banging.

It makes us jealous. It does.

I admit I get envious when I see the likes of Manchester City and Chelsea weighing out for players but at the same time I'm realistic enough to know that Arsenal won't and can't spend those sorts of sums.

We are in an era where sugar-daddies don't pick up young women anymore. Instead they pull football clubs.

And I think this is the problem. Gooners just want Arsenal to spend some money.

I honestly believe that if Arsene Wenger went out and spent £50m on players this summer then the bitter split between Gooners would end. Till next summer at least.

Everything would be hunkydory.

Its apparently well documented that Arsene Wenger has money to spend but is too stubborn to spend it. I agree to a certain extent.

Personally I don't want Arsene to spend money just for the sake of it like I did at Stringfellows on my 25th. It's not big and its not clever.

But, if he pulls out the cheque book, dusts it off, and signs a few players in the summer, then I predict that there will be harmony between Gooners again.

Some will not want Wenger at the club by then but I don't go down that route.

All things need is a little freshening up and I honestly believe this summer that will happen.

If we go into next season as champions, with a couple of new players, then there will be an almighty love-in between Gooners and maybe then we can end this AKB and DAG nonsense and be united.

Keep It Goonerish..........

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Get Well Soon Eric Abidal

I couldn't believe my eyes when I read the news that FC Barcelona defender Eric Abidal is to have an operation on his liver to remove a tumour.

I'm gutted for him.

From what I've seen of him though he is a real fighter so I hope this strength gets him through this.

It kind of puts things into perspective doesn't it?

I'd like to wish Eric good luck in his battle and all the best, as I'm sure all Gooners will do too.

Keep It Goonerish.......

Sunday, 13 March 2011

Does Arsene Wenger Really Deserve Such Hate?

I swear that some Gooners spit more venom than a King Cobra.

The abuse that I have seen with my very own eyes towards Arsene Wenger is a sick joke. It sickens me more than Sambuca.

Here is a man who has provided Arsenal Football Club, our club, with some of the best moments in its history.

Yet that doesn't stop people slagging him off with the kind of hate I would say should be reserved for the likes of Tottenham Hotspur or Chelsea though.

Why has Arsene Wenger become so despised by some sections of Gooners? I really can't get my head around it.

Sure the man can frustrate. He has done my head in on more than one occasion but that doesn't mean I will subject him with the kind of insults and vitriol I see thrown his way on a regular basis.

Of course Arsene Wenger isn't above the club, nobody is, so constructive criticism of him is fine in my book.

However, he deserves a lot more respect from certain Gooners than he is currently getting at the moment.

Listen, I'm no Wengerite. I don't have a shrine to the man. But what I will say is be careful what you wish for.

We are lucky that he doesn't just walk away. I bet if he read half the shit written about him on the interweb he probably would be tempted.

Who would blame him?

I'm telling you now, if Wenger became available every club in the world would love to take him on. Even before the darling Jose Mourinho.

Arsene has his faults. Even Stevie Wonder can see that but please show the man a bit more courtesy.

I accept these are frustrating and annoying times. Its been a difficult two weeks but I bet these fans who slate Wenger will be praising him to the hilt if we win the title.

Just like they did when we beat Barcelona at the Emirates.

If you don't think he is doing a good job that is fine. That is your opinion. I think he could do some things better too.

But don't slag him off. Don't insult him. There is no need for that. He deserves so much better.

Keep It Goonerish.............

Thursday, 10 March 2011

Gael Clichy - Take A Bow!

Well there you have it. Wrighty7 is like a bus. You wait ages for an article and then three come along at once!

I don't know why I have blogged so much today. It could either be pure unadulterated boredom or just that I have a lot on my mind and plenty of time to write today.

Anyway, I just wanted to say that I thought Gael Clichy was fantastic in Barcelona and is showing signs of being his old self again.

I think the last couple of years have been difficult for Gael. His form has been up and down more times than Katie Price's (aka Jordan) knickers.

Its difficult to pinpoint why he has been inconsistent but it could be down to the formation Arsene Wenger likes to use these days.

Maybe Clichy has just taken a while to get used to it and is now getting to grips with the system.

I remember saying that Gael Clichy would become the best left-back in the world when Ashley Cole left and I still think that could well be the case.

You may think I am madder than a hatter for making such an outrageous statement but the talent is there and time is definitely on his side.

Its easy to forget that Gael is only 25 years old. He seems to have been about since the Stone Age doesn't he?

I think I read somewhere that defenders peak on average from 27 onwards so we have yet to see the best of Gael Clichy if that is the case.

It's easy to criticise when players are struggling (I hold my hands up, I've done it in the past too) so its only fair to give praise when its due and in my opinion Clichy deserves some.

If he can continue to show his recent form till the end of the season then I believe we can have no complaints about him.

Whats that saying? Form is temporary, class is permanent. Well if Gael can become more consistent I might not sound so mad!

Keep It Goonerish.........

I Hope The Barcelona Supporters Pissed Cesc Off!

Was it just me or did you hear the Barcelona supporters whistle at Cesc Fabregas when he was substituted the other night too?

Perhaps whistling people in Spain during a football match is a compliment?

This is not me being ignorant, I don't know the Spanish culture too well, nor would I claim that I did, but surely its almost equal to booing someone?

When we actually strung two passes together they began to whistle at us so I should imagine its not a good thing. Unless they fancied us.

Perhaps Cesc will keep this in mind when we are subjected to another campaign of will he leave/will he stay throughout the whole of summer.

Or maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Keep It Goonerish..........

And Who Said Arsenal Couldn't Defend?

Arsenal impressed me during the first half in the Camp Nou the other night. We defended very well indeed.

People have said we were slaughtered like Amy Winehouse, well I'd agree we were in the second half. When down to 10 men.

However the first half we defended our goal like a bunch of old women defending their knitting needles. I was happy with that display.

I think Arsene Wenger set the team out to defend like we did. And if memory serves me correctly Barcelona had only 2 shots on goal other the actual goal itself, which came from a mistake.

Of course Barcelona had 99% of possession, something Arsenal are used to having, but they wasn't causing us too many problems.

In fact, I'd say that we had them rattled more than a rattle snake and had we gone into half-time at 0-0 their confidence would have been affected. We conceded a goal at the worst possible time.

Had Chelsea defended like we did in the first-half you would have said they were resolute. Because Arsenal don't play that way, and people say we can't defend, we were outplayed.

You are not going to have any choice other than to defend in long periods against Barcelona and I don't think we got enough credit for the way we handled them until we went down to 10 men.

That said we didn't do what we usually do very well. We gave the ball away a lot. It was like a hot potato at times.

Had we kept the ball better, I firmly believe the longer the game went on we would have won.

Credit must go to Barcelona though. Despite us frustrating them they kept to their principles and kept going. Do they have a plan B? Probably, but so do Arsenal now.

It can be ugly to watch 10 men defending behind the ball, we've seen that more times from the opposition than any, but it does frustrate the other team and can work.

Like my sisters pay-as-you-go phone I don't think Arsene Wenger has received enough credit.

It's said he can be tactically naive at times, something I agree with to a certain extent, but he wasn't during the first half in Barcelona.

He set up our stall to defend in numbers and it worked marvellously until injury time.

Arsenal can definitely defend well its just we won't ever get the chance to show it regularly because its not every day we face a team like Barcelona.

Teams usually do it us and receive loads of credit. Its a shame it doesn't work the other way round.

Keep It Goonerish..........

Sunday, 6 March 2011

Talk About Spitting Your Dummy Out!

No I am not talking about any sulking Gooners either because we have every right to have the hump!

I wet my knickers with laughter though after reading that Alex Ferguson was 'seething' after Manchester United's hiding at Anfield earlier.

Fair enough, United were beaten. I suppose that would make him slightly annoyed.

However, what made me chuckle was that he refused to do an interview. That is not the end of it though. He didn't allow his players to talk to the media either.

Now, I can understand being pissed off at losing such an important game but talk about spitting your dummy out!

Could you imagine the uproar if Arsene Wenger had done the same?

I have no doubt that every form of media would go into overdrive. Wenger would be hung, drawn and quartered. By his balls.

It would be on the front few pages of every newspaper, pushing murder stories to page 8, for at least a week.

Sky Sports would be going mental. Absolutely crazy in fact. Probably more crazy than Gennaro Gattuso on a sugar rush looking for Joe Jordan.

There would be more breaking news about it than an MC Hammer vs Vanilla Ice break-dance off.

Yet Alex Ferguson seems to get away with it. Why?

People love to have a pop at Arsene Wenger about some of his interviews but at least he does them. And I'm sure he does them all the time too.

Win, lose or draw, the Arsenal gaffer is there and always answers EVERY question put to him. You might not like his answer but he will always reply.

Can you say the same about Fergie?

Why Alex Ferguson gets so much respect from the media is beyond me. Harry Redknapp is the same but the less I say about him the better. I cannot bear that baggy-faced mug.

It has to be fear. The media are worried about receiving the famous 'Fergie hairdryer' treatment so they treat him with kid-gloves.

Maybe Arsene Wenger needs to tell an interviewer to 'fuck off' like Redknapp, maybe he needs to impose a media ban for his club like Ferguson.

Maybe, just maybe, Wenger might get the respect he deserves and not be treated with contempt from the media despite giving them all the time in the day.

Keep It Goonerish............

Saturday, 5 March 2011

Bottle-Jobs, Too Reliant On RVP And Cesc, Just Plain Unlucky?

........Or a combination of all three?

I feel very proud and privileged to be a Gooner but at times it can be so frustrating.

I don't know what would be more frustrating, watching that game today, or pulling Kelly Brook on a drunken night out and then being too pissed to get it up.

Probably an equal footing.

All I know is we dropped some very impotent, sorry IMPORTANT, points today and I hope it doesn't cost us at the end of the season.

It's been said that Arsenal have less bottle than Audley Harrison but I don't know if that is the case.

We do rely on Cesc Fabregas and Robin van Persie a lot but I believe that any club would miss players of that quality.

Perhaps we miss Cesc more than RVP. I know Robin scores loads of goals when he isn't at the doctors but this system we play is built around our skipper and when he isn't involved we can lack creativity.

Why on Earth Arsene Wenger doesn't put Samir Nasri in the middle when Cesc is missing I'll never know. Surely that could go someway to solving that problem?

But then we do know that Arsene can do things a little differently at times.

That said I think its difficult to blame the gaffer for today. We battered Sunderland and at times I thought Arsenal were playing a sausage.

We didn't have the little bit of luck needed. We did everything but score and I honestly believe we wouldn't have scored in a brothel. Unless Wayne Rooney signed for us.

Andrey Arshavin had a goal disallowed and that was a liberty. It was never offside. Cheers Anthony Taylor. You minge.

I suppose it was just one of those days that do your head in but why do we seem to get them more than any other club? Are we cursed? Did we upset a Gypsy who supports Manchester United?

Again it's another day when the opposition 'keeper gets the M.O.M award and I often wonder if these goalies save their best for Arsenal. Like they get some kind of special 'played well against Arsenal' award at the end of the season.

A little bit of credit must go to Sunderland. They came for a point and they earned it.

So all in all, like every Gooner in the universe, I'm very disappointed but lets try and remain positive. There is a long way to go yet and we are still very much involved in a title race.

Keep It Goonerish.............

Thursday, 3 March 2011

Kolo Toure - Innocent Until Proven Guilty And Deserves Our Support

I couldn't believe my eyes when I read that Kolo Toure had failed a drugs test.

And I wasn't hallucinating from illegal substances when I saw it either.

All jokes aside though, here is a man, a devout Muslim family man at that, who gave his all at Arsenal for seven seasons and I think he deserves our support.

There is no way that Kolo would take illegal drugs knowingly so there has to be an innocent explanation for this.

I have no doubt that he will receive a huge amount of stick for this episode but he won't get any from me. And I'm sure most, if not all Gooners, feel the same.

In this country you are innocent until proven guilty and I'd like to remind everyone of that.

Toure is an icon at Arsenal and I hope that he is cleared of any wrong doing. Which I'm sure he will be.

Keep your chin up Kolo!

Keep It Goonerish.............

Gooners Can Help Heal RVP's Knee, Says Uri

Uri Geller called on Arsenal fans to help heal RVP's injured knee by rubbing a photo of the Dutchman (below).




Geller, a spoon-bending psychic and former best-mate of deceased pop star Micheal Jackson, believes that Gooners can create a huge surge of energy powerful enough to help the Arsenal striker regain his fitness.

He said: "I know it sounds light-hearted, but it is actually very serious."

"Send him healing energies, visualise the knee ligament knitting together, unleash your healing powers. Send the energy to that knee."

Uri Geller has claimed to be behind many extraordinary events. The Tottenham Hotspur Lasagne-Gate of 2006 was the most famous to date and even incurred a police investigation.

However surely getting Robin van Persie back to full-fitness would be a step too far. Even for the powers of Uri Geller.

Keep It Goonerish..........









Tuesday, 22 February 2011

Tony Pulis Set To Unleash The Kraken!

I'm slightly perturbed by Tony Pulis. In fact, I'm a little more than freaked out.

Usually the man takes every chance possible in his stinking existence to have a pop at Arsenal. Today he kind of gives us a little gee-up.

To say I'm surprised is an understatement and I've come to the conclusion that he has either taken a whack on his head or he has fallen out with his posse.

Alex Ferguson, Phil Brown and Sam Allardyce will be disgusted and sickened that Pulis has given Arsenal a compliment.

I wouldn't be shocked in the slightest if they threw him out of their gang forever. He has some serious sucking up to do.

Rule Number One in their crew is to hate and try to dig out Arsenal or Arsene Wenger at every opportunity given.

What the Stoke City manager has said in the link above is blasphemy of the worst kind. The 'c-word' has nothing on this.

I expect a Tony Pulis backlash after the game tomorrow night.

Fergie would have been on the phone and will demand an apology of biblical proportions.

Not only that, he will want Pulis to pull out the big guns and verbally, if not physically, attack Arsenal in the most outrageous way ever.

In the next 48 hours I predict that Tony Pulis will unleash the Kraken of all slagging offs. And even Perseus will be shocked by it.

Keep It Goonerish........

Monday, 21 February 2011

I'm Manuel Almunia...Get Me Out Of Here!

Poor old Manuel Almunia really looks like he has had enough doesn't he?

He looks about as interested in playing for Arsenal as Elton John would be in a threesome with Megan Fox and Cheryl Cole and about as nervous as a virgin in the same situation.

To be fair who could blame him?

The Spaniard has never been a favourite with Gooners but even the most battle-hardened Almunia hater would admit that he was badly treated by Arsenal last summer.

Essentially he was hung out to dry, like my delicates, by a very public Arsenal chase for Fulham 'keeper Mark Schwarzer.

How Wenger could ever have expected Almunia to be at his best (no matter how bad that is) after being undermined like this I will never know.

Manuel has been like a dead-man walking ever since. I've seen more life in a tramps vest.

Arsene wanted a new number one and that was more obvious than Peter Crouch at a midget convention. He should have let Almunia go then.

Instead we have a keeper licking his wounds, someone who doesn't want to be here.

Despite Gooners reservations over him, he didn't need deserve this treatment because by all accounts Manuel Almunia is a nice guy.

He should have been allowed a dignified exit.

Keep It Goonerish..............

Sunday, 20 February 2011

Well Played Leyton Orient. That's The Magic Of The FA Cup!

Why am I not pissed off?

We have just drawn against a side that are two divisions below us and I am not the slightest bit annoyed.

In fact, and this is a proper fact, I was more annoyed when I rolled in dogs shit during my Sunday league match earlier than when Leyton Orient equalised.

Maybe the romantic side has come out in me. The romance of the FA Cup has a lot to answer for.

What a result for Leyton Orient. They get a replay out of us and earn a few more quid too.

Who really can begrudge them that? I know I can't.

The FA Cup can be more magical than David Blaine at times and today was a perfect example.

This will mean everything to everyone associated with Leyton Orient FC, and you can tell how much it meant to them at the final whistle.

How often will these players get the chance to play at a ground like the Emirates?

How often will the Orient fans get the chance to watch their team at a ground like the Emirates?

That's why the FA Cup is special.

Well done Leyton Orient. You deserve all the credit you get.

Keep It Goonerish...........

Saturday, 19 February 2011

Arshavin's Goal Was Better Than Rooney's

I'm not taking anything away from Wayne Rooney here. His goal (despite flying in off his shin) against Manchester City was a marvellous one.

Sky Sports certainly thought it was. Since the goal I must have seen it replayed more times than Rooney has banged call girls.

However, despite the media having a gangbang over it, I still think that Andrei Arshavin's one against Barcelona the other night was better.

Call me biased, call me a twat, I don't care. As Paul Merson would say, Arshavin's goal was a 'worldy'.

I've heard that Rooney's was special because it happened in the Manchester derby. The most important derby since 1345. Well, given the circumstances, I agree with that. It was special.

The game was neck and neck, mano el mano and needed something out of the ordinary to win the game. Rooney provided the finish and United won. Well done.

I'd argue that Arsenal's second against Barcelona was more important and the game far more bigger than the Manchester derby though.

According to most people this Barcelona side are the greatest team on planet Earth. Some even say that they are the greatest team in the universe. Ever.

Like others I really rate this Barca team too and I have to say that their gaffer, Pep Guardiola, is a wonder. In fact, I'd love him to take over us when Arsene Wenger leaves the club.

Because of all this it was vital that we took something to the Camp Nou and because of our fantastic winner we will do.

The way we took Barcelona apart to score that goal was nothing short of magical. We cut them open more than a surgeon performing a heart bypass.

The ITV commentator (a right tool) said it was a Barcelona goal scored by Arsenal. Wrong. It was an Arsenal goal scored by Arsenal and not only that, it was better than Rooney's.

The importance of it is unrivalled, the execution was more deadly than Saddam Hussein's, and the whole build-up and finish didn't rely on one ounce of fortune.

It was football, and Arsenal, at its purest.

Had it come from Barcelona or, dare I say, Manchester United, people would have gone into a orgasm frenzy of epic proportions.

Rooney's strike, albeit brilliant, could have ended up on planet Mars. It didn't and was a great goal.

Arshavin's goal, at the end of a move tearing the best team in the world a new arsehole, was better. Much better.

Keep It Goonerish............

Thursday, 17 February 2011

An Open Letter To Xavier Hernández:

Dear Mr Hernandez,

Can I call you Xavi? Or, as Del Boy from Only Fools and Horses or Gypsies would say, can I call you Chavvy?

Let me begin by saying that I think you are a marvellous footballer. I love to watch players like yourself play the game. At times its like watching my mate Phil play Fifa 2003 on Playstation 2 and he was well good at that game.

In the past I've heard you mention a lot about DNA. So much so, I thought you were a part-time genetic scientist or something during your spare time after training. You have mentioned Cesc Fabregas' FC Barcelona DNA loads. I only have normal DNA but I wish I had Arsenal DNA. That would be sooooo cool.

Recently Chavvy you have said quite a lot of naughty things and at times I think you are a nasty man but then I remember you have FC Barcelona DNA too and when people with that get older sometimes they have a mutation of the mind and it makes them go crazy. Well, that's what my teacher told me in Biology years ago.

I didn't know that you were a psychic either. But you aren't very good at that though are you Chavvy?! I remember reading this just before I went on holiday last summer and I thought 'Wow, this man is a scientist AND a psychic'.

You said that Cesc might join you at Barcelona in January when Arsenal are out of the title race and that the Gunners are just not competitive. You were wrong! What happened? Did your crystal ball break?

Not only are Arsenal still in the title race and in the running for four trophies, we are proving to be very competitive indeed. So competitive in fact we have just beaten YOUR team in the Champions League. I really, really, really hope you kept the receipt for that crystal ball Chavvy.

I'm not going to be arrogant like you Chavvy. I know that it will be a very hard game in Barcelona and we will have to do very well to knock you out but my advice to you would be to show a little humanity and a little less of the cockiness because it can bite you on the arse.

Yours,

Wrighty

Keep It Goonerish..........