Sunday, 31 May 2009

If Fabio Capello trusts Gareth Barry that's good enough for me!

We are being linked with Gareth Barry and it's been said that he would prefer a move to us rather than Liverpool.

My take? Prove it. I'd like to hear it from the player himself. I thought he was desperate for a move to Anfield.

Anyway, I've often wondered whether Gareth Barry would improve Arsenal. There is no doubt that he is a good player, who importantly, has Premiership and international experience.

What sways me more to the fact he would improve Arsenal is that Fabio Capello puts his trust in Gareth Barry when selecting his England side. Capello is no mug, and if he believes in Barry, then so do I.

And I believe in a thing called love, just listen to the rhythm of my heart..............

Arsene Wenger often uses the excuse that signing someone like Barry would 'kill' a player like Song or Denilson. I beg to differ. Barry is no mass murderer. As far as I know anyway. But then its always the quietest ones that surprise you..............

Players like Song and Denilson would learn from someone like Barry. It would improve them. Not only that, it would give everyone at the club a lift and it shows a statement of intent to the rest of the Premiership.

It would also give some reassurance to Gooners. We need to see the club make these kind of signings. It feels good. Almost like making love.

Look at Andrei Arshavin. He has been superb for us and his arrival lifted the club into space.

Would Barry be a good partner for Cesc Fabegas? I'd say yes. It would create a good balance in the middle of the park. Because Barry is left footed. And clever

I always wanted Arsenal to sign Xabi Alonso, who I believe is the best passer of the ball in the world. It looks likely he will either stay at Liverpool or sign for Real Madrid.

Barry is the next option. We need to get in there now before Alonso's career is sorted out. Get in early.

Gareth Barry has one year left on his contract and now would be a good time to make a move.

Keep it Goonerish.......

Thursday, 28 May 2009

I'm in two minds over Robin van Persie

I love Robin van Persie but if the main reason he is reluctant to sign a new contract is because he wants to see if Arsenal can compete for honours then he can jog right on in my opinion.

I understand that he wants to win things. He should step into some Gooner shoes! But he needs to understand that he has contributed to the barren spell himself.

How often has he been on the treatment table rather than actually on the pitch? I'd say more often than Paris Hilton pulls her knickers up and down. Thats a lot. I've seen the DvD.

In a way I'd say that Robin owes Arsenal, Arsene Wenger and especially Gooners for sticking by him despite all his injury woes. We have all been patient with him throughout his time with Arsenal.

Perhaps the real sticking point is the amount of money on offer. If Adebayor is worth the reported £80,000 a week he earns then so is Robin.

I reckon that is the true reason for the contract talks stalling. I symphathise with the Dutchman if that is the case.

Parity with Adebayor should be the offer that Arsenal have made van Persie. He has been there longer and is more influential, with Gooners and the squad. Even if it is from the sick bay.

His glass body has held up for longer periods this campaign. I hope for better in the future. Maybe then we can win things! But Robin needs to commit first.

Keep it Goonerish..........

Tuesday, 26 May 2009

Bring back God!

I've never been very religious but I do believe in God. In fact I've seen him. He wore an Arsenal shirt for 11 years.

His name is Dennis Nicolaas Maria Bergkamp and he is Dutch. The Ice-man. And I loved him like family.

The man was, and is, an absolute Arsenal legend and I want him back at the club.

How good would it be to bring Dennis back as a coach? Not as a coach who ferry's the players to away games but a REAL footballing coach who actually coaches the players and passes on his superior knowledge.

I couldn't think of a better being to inspire our strikers than him. An actual God. It's quite frightening.

Maybe we could do with a little shake up behind the scenes to freshen things up at the club.

While I'm on the subject of bringing God back, why not Martin Keown too? He'd certainly add some bite to the defensive side of coaching. He did it before.

I'd also like to see Steve Bould given a promotion to the first team set-up. He has done an incredible job for the under-18's and I wouldn't rule him out of the running as a man who could actually replace Arsene Wenger one day.

Mark my words!

Keep it Goonerish.............

Monday, 25 May 2009

Is Lorik Cana REALLY like Flamini on steroids? Who is he?

I'll be honest here. I've heard this name mentioned a lot since the summer but I have to be honest. Who is Lorik Cana?

A little birdy mentioned to me that Cana is a complete nutter. A bit like Mathieu Flamini on steroids.

If that is the case, and Lorik Cana is REALLY like Flamini on steroids, then I would be happy for Arsenal to sign him because I love Flamini to bits.

An even more hyped up Flamini sounds perfect to me......

Watching Fabregas and Flamini forming their partnership last season made me give a very bold prediction. Even bolder than Steve Bould.

I believed that Fabregas and Flamini could, and would, have developed a better understanding than Patrick Vieira and Emmanuel Petit had.

Obviously following Flamini's departure last summer the partnership never had the chance to prove me right. So if Cana is better than Flamini, and more of a nutter than Flamini, then maybe, just maybe, Cana and Fabregas could be a better deal?

Who knows? I don't, that's why I'm asking you! Who is Lorik Cana and is he REALLY that good? Would he fill the role, and the hole, that Flamini left?

Keep it Goonerish.............

Friday, 22 May 2009

Will sorry always be the hardest word? (it will in this case!)

Take your allegation, put it in your pipe and smoke it you oompa loompa lookalike cunt.

Its not often I use that word. Only when something angers me and this muppet has really angered me.

Step forward Phil Brown...........

I really hope that he issues an apology to Cesc Fabregas. If he is the big man he thinks he is then he will. I won't be holding my breath.

Because of all this I find myself hoping that Hull City are relegated and to be fair that isn't fair on them. Phil Brown has turned a fairytale season for Hull into a campaign all about him.

When he made his side stay on the pitch at half-time what was he trying to prove?

Something that has been proved is that he is a liar, and not once, but twice this season. He said Wenger never shook his hand and was proved wrong and he said Cesc spat at his assistant and was proved wrong.

It's obvious he is trying to impress his fat boyfriend Sam Allardyce by continuing Allardyce's own vendetta against Arsenal. Why?

The problem is that things like this stick. Brown will now be regarded as a liar, and rightly so, but Fabregas will now be regarded as a spitter. Is that fair on Cesc?

Phil Brown will probably say that is was always a case of a big club against a little club. Well fuck off. I'd love to use a big club on Phil Brown's forehead.

Lets see if Phil Brown holds his hands up, acts like a real man, admits he was wrong and says sorry.

Keep it Goonerish.............

Thursday, 21 May 2009

I hope you fulfill your potential pal

I'm glad that Philippe Senderos has said he wants to stay at AC Milan. For his sake, and for Arsenal's.

I've always felt that he would flourish in Italian football. The slower pace suits his game.

His best performances for Arsenal were in European football where the game isn't as quick as the Premiership, where at times, he looked out of his depth.

Senderos always tried his nuts off for us but unfortunately it was never enough. He is a confidence player and always played at his best when having a run of games under his belt.

I believed that he was always due a clanger at any time, even when he was on form. You could say that most of the Arsenal defence are always due a clanger too!

The problem with Senderos though, was that he couldn't shake off his mistake and his head would be down on his laces.

I think he is a great defender, on his day, and I will be sad when, not it, he leaves because as I've said, he always gave his all.

Maybe he could, and should, have become a mainstay in the Arsenal defence. Perhaps he would have under the guidance of someone like Martin Keown.

We all saw how good he was when Keown was brought back in 2006 to help the tactics at the back.

However, it looks as if he will be on his way and I'm glad it will be in a league that will suit him and with a team as big as AC Milan.

Good luck Phil!

Keep it Goonerish..........

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Did Wenger upset Platini as a child?

I often wonder if Arsene Wenger and Michel Platini had a falling out as children and ever since Platini has held the biggest Grudge since that Japanese film with Buffy the Vampire Slayer in it.

Perhaps Wenger gave Platini a wedgie when they were young boys?

Every opportunity Platini gets, he has a pop at Wenger. Maybe his bitterness at all things English is because Arsene Wenger works here, in England.

He thinks Arsenal is the devil and we go around poaching every young child in world football.

His idea of a perfect system is the one that Barcelona use.

Is that the same Barcelona who pretty much stole Lionel Messi at the age of 11?

Is that the same Barcelona who, every summer, persist to try to poach our, and other teams, best players by unsettling them through the media?

Why does he only EVER mention Arsenal and Arsene Wenger on this agenda? I'm sure other clubs in Europe sign youngsters too. Don't they?

Too much power flows through this Muppet's veins. The man has lost it. What is next? World domination?

Keep it Goonerish..............

Monday, 18 May 2009

If Arsene Wenger wants to leave then let him go

There is no doubt in my mind that Arsene Wenger will still be the manager of Arsenal Football club next season.

Despite his flirting with Real Madrid the job at Arsenal is still only half done and Wenger will not not leave in this way.

My mate is the same. He never does things in halves. He never leaves a pint despite the fact the cab driver has been waiting for 10 minutes.

I don't want Arsene Wenger to leave Arsenal. He is still the right man for the job. BUT, if he wanted to leave could any Gooner really begrudge him the chance to try something different? I couldn't.

The geezer has shown so much loyalty to Arsenal over the years that I love him like a brother. Of course I would be worried if he left and I'm dreading the day it happens but Arsenal will still go on.

There is life after Wenger.

There comes a time when you reach the crossroads in your career. This is Wengers time. Does he feel that he has taken Arsenal as far as he can and wants a new challenge? Or does he finish a job half done?

I fancy the latter but I wouldn't begrudge him the former.

Keep it Goonerish..............

Sunday, 17 May 2009

Arsene Wenger is just flirting with Real Madrid

I would take Arsene Wenger's comments about Real Madrid with a pinch of salt.

Of course it would be interesting to manage Real Madrid. They are a great club with more history than the Romans.

In my opinion Wenger is just flirting with Real Madrid. Its like Arsenal and Gooners are his missus and he has just had a barney with them. He feels a little under appreciated at the moment and feels sorry for himself.

He sees Real Madrid as the stunner who lives next door. Who wouldn't be interested? She shows a little interest but Wenger knows deep down that he won't go there. Its too risky.

Little wifey (Arsenal) is safe and Wenger feels safe there. He flirts a little with Madrid. Lets them know he thinks they are stunning and makes himself feel better.

In his thinking he believes Arsenal and Gooners will appreciate him more because the stunner wanted him and he could have her if he wanted.

The reality is he knows the grass aint always greener on the other side and his wife, although a little ropey at the moment, just needs a little cosmetic surgery and she will look great again.

There's a moral there somewhere..........

Wenger only spoke last week that Arsenal are his club. Do you honestly believe a week later he completely contradict himself? He only does that with transfers. Not his future.

Keep it Goonerish.............

Michael Owen on a free?

I know what you are thinking. Shut up Wrighty7 you divvy bastard. I thought the same thing myself!

But think about it. Owen may seem past it and more over the hill than Joan Collins but maybe, just maybe, he could do a job for us. A two-year pay as you play deal perhaps?

Owen is hugely experienced and has scored goals for fun over the years, at every level. Surely he still can?

People say that he is more interested in his horses than his football career. What an opportunity to prove those doubters wrong.

Wenger took a risk on Bischoff last summer. Why not Owen? A hungry Michael Owen, who still is only 29, can cut it at the top. I'm sure of that.

He's available on a free transfer in the summer. Got to be worth a sneaky look?

Keep it Goonerish.............

Friday, 15 May 2009

Please say this is just a sick rumour!

It's not often that I feel physically sick. It normally takes around ten lagers, two aftershocks, six shots of tequila and a doner kebab to make me throw my guts up.

Today I felt sick for a totally different reason. I heard a sick rumour. No, it wasn't that Elton John is my real Dad or it wasn't that Robbie Keane is a distant cousin of mine. It wasn't far off though.

I read a rumor that Arsenal were preparing a summer bid for Diego Forlan. Now I don't know what is worse. The fact that Arsenal are 'apparently' weighing up a bid for him or the fact that the fee is around the £32m mark............

Sorry, I nearly fainted there.

I couldn't give a shit that he feels he has unfinished business with the Premiership. If that is the case then let some mugs like Manchester City sign him.

I also couldn't give a shit that he has 'resurrected' his career in Spain. Let him stay there then and keep on resurrecting as much as he wants!

As much as I want to see some new additions to the squad, and I don't mean Rosicky, Diego Forlan is not the answer. Unless it's his supremely talented nephew who was named after him.

Keep it Goonerish............

Thursday, 14 May 2009

Rebuilt like Robocop!

So the rumours are true. Tomas Rosicky is back. The only difference is he has been rebuilt like Robocop.

The dodgy hammy has been replaced by kryptonite this time. It is stronger than a diamond. Well, that's what Superman tells me.

It's great though. Tomas, when fit, is one of the best players in the Premiership on his day in my opinion and it will really benefit Arsenal with him in the squad.

He has experience. Albeit mostly in the treatment room. And that is something Arsenal obviously lack. (Not players in the treatment room! That's always full!)

It may take him a little while to get back in the swing of things. I think it was 1958 the last time he played so he maybe a little out of date with the pace of the league.

The most important thing is the hunger he will bring to Arsenal. I don't mean the hunger to devour ice-cream like Hleb, I mean the hunger to play again.

It must have been hugely frustrating for Rosicky to have sat down on his arse for the last 16 months or so getting paid for doing nothing. Hmmm?!.....

No seriously, knowing Rosicky as well as I do (we are great pals) he will be itching to get back on the pitch and I can't wait to see our new and improved Robot footballer in action!

Keep it Goonerish...........

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

He's been here five minutes and he's 'Baffled' already!

Thats it. He's a trouble maker. GET HIM OUT!

Andrey Arshavin has been here five minutes and already he is baffled by Arsene Wenger. Well, let me tell you Mr Arshavin you are not the only one baffled by Arsene Wenger my friend!

Wenger aint called the 'mad professor' for nothing!

I'll be honest here, does anyone really believe Arshavin would say that he is baffled by Wenger and blast Arsenal already? He's just walked through the door.

I get the impression that Arshavin loves it at Arsenal and I love him at Arsenal. I love Arshavin like a brother.

And I know he didn't say he was baffled because I saw the interview and I can speak fluent Russian. Sort of. I did a two-week course but I Russianed it.............I'll get me coat!

The only thing that baffles me is that the English media do not employ a proper translator who can actually speak the lingo in that country! I heard the Sun sent a Spanish man to translate Russian to English!

No fucking wonder the articles are always fucked!

Anyway, even if Arshavin is 'baffled' by playing down the left, he is one of the lucky ones. Ask poor old Alex Song who was told he is a defender only to find himself in the holding midfield role or Johan Djourou, a natural holding player who under Wenger's guidance finds himself in defence!

I also heard a rumour that Manuel Almunia was a striker until Wenger converted him into an Eminem lookalike goalkeeper.

To be honest I cannot wait to see Arshavin next season. He has taken to the Premiership like I took to alcohol and I fancy a little shout at him being named Premiership player of the season after 'baffling' defences himself this time next year.

Keep it Goonerish.............

Monday, 11 May 2009

Sell Emmanuel Adebayor, get Carlos Tevez

If I was Arsene Wenger this summer I would consider doing the following; I'd sell Emmanuel Adebayor and use the proceeds to sign Carlos Tevez.

If Arsenal get offered anything near the rumoured £20+ million offers for Adebayor I think that Wenger will bite their hands off quicker than a piranha would.

As far as I'm concerned Adebayor should leave Arsenal and be replaced by someone who would give 100% every time he wore the shirt. Carlos Tevez is that man.

The Argentinian gives everything to the cause and I'm sure that when, not if, he leaves Manchester United this summer, there will be plenty of tears from all those Cockney Reds.

Tevez could inspire a young Arsenal side. Adebayor can't inspire himself. Ade says Arsenal have gone backwards this season? Well he has gone more backward than the backward man from the film Freddie got Fingered.

Signing Tevez would be a huge signing of intent and the way he has been treated at United I'm sure he would relish a move to the home of football.

Keep it Goonerish...............

Saturday, 9 May 2009

Yes it was "A F***ing Disgrace" Mr Drogba

Deary deary me. Did you see Mr Drogba the other night? Screaming and shouting abuse at the poor camera. I thought I'd tuned in to a Gordon Ramsey show!

I have to say I agree with Drogba though, it was a disgrace. It was disgraceful the way he kept rolling around the floor like he had been shot by a sniper.

The man must be six foot two, built like a rhino yet the slightest touch and over he goes. The embarrassing part is the way he dives and then acts like a baby trying to get out of his pram.

The problem is Chelsea parked the yellow bus in front of their goal in the first leg desperate to keep a clean sheet. Good, they got that. But the lack of ambition bit them straight on the arse because they couldn't keep a clean sheet at home.

Now they will blame the ref who in truth, had a shocker. Chelsea should have had at least a couple of penalties but people are forgetting that √Čric Abidal shouldn't have been sent off. That kind of levels it out for me.

Yes Didier, it is frustrating. But you can't do that. Mind you, you do play for Chelsea. You'll probably get away with it!

Could you imagine the uproar if Nicklas Bendtner had walked up to the camera, pissed as a fart, with his pants down, screaming and shouting at the camera? The media would have a field day.

William Gallas sits on the pitch, emotional after just seeing his side, the team he captains, lose their way in the title race. He sees a friend and team-mate have his leg snapped in two and he gets destroyed for it?

What is worse in the heat of the moment? Sitting down or telling a camera its a fucking disgrace?
You tell me.

But no. Excuses were made for Drogba. He was emotional. Gallas on the other hand is a raving lunatic who just murdered eight puppies live on Sky.

Can you see the difference here? Thats the fucking disgrace.

Now I don't portray Adebayor in the best of light on here. But could you imagine if his mum would gone out shop-lifting dog food. It would be front page news for about six months. Andy Gray would even have an opinion on it. John Terry, England captain supreme, old dear did it but its alright. He is England captain.

That's a fucking disgrace. And I'll tell a fucking camera that too.

Keep it Goonerish.......................

Thursday, 7 May 2009

Did Bendtner really have to say sorry?

Nope. Not in my opinion anyway.

So he was pictured out on the lash. So what? It was after a game and I'm sure that he had Arsene Wenger's blessing to go out.

How many times have you had a shitty day and a nice cool refreshing lager (or ten in Nicklas case!) is just what you need to unwind? It happens to me 8 days a week.

I'm glad he went out. It's a shame that some of the other players didn't. Make it a right team bonding binge session. My Sunday league team do it. And we love each other. Loads.

At least he didn't stare at a camera screaming "Its a fucking disgrace!"

Keep it Goonerish.............

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

Sack Arsene Wenger and replace him with who exactly?

People are more than entitled to their own opinion but one I don't agree with is sacking Arsene Wenger.

If you are one of the people that believe sacking Arsene Wenger is the answer then could you please elaborate with who you would like to replace him? Because I can't think of anyone at the moment!

Listen, I know Arsene Wenger has his faults. I don't think he is perfect but I know he is a fine manager who, if available, would have almost every top club in Europe trying to get him on board.

I don't deny that Wenger has fucked up in the past but who hasn't? He is only human like the rest of us.

Arsene Wenger is a very stubborn man and I believe that this stubborness is his downfall. What he needs to do is look into his mirror and realise that he needs to change his policy slightly.

Its obvious that this group of players need guidance. You look around the squad and I don't see many players who can provide it.

Despite the 'potential' of this squad the lack of experience is a real problem. I'm hoping that Wenger sees that now and tweaks the squad as necessary.

I can't see how replacing Wenger would do any good. I can understand people wanting a new beginning and fresh ideas but I hope that Arsene Wenger can be the man to do that.

Yes, he may seem stuck in his ways but even the most stubborn of men can change.

I really hope he does because many Gooners are frustrated, understandably so, and his legendary status at the club could be tainted unless silverware comes our way.

It hurts to say but Manchester United are setting the benchmark at the moment and although it seems we are miles away from them I really believe we are not.

Wenger is the man to lead us back to the top but only if he is willing to change.

Remember, you never know what you got until it's gone. I hope Wenger proves me right.

Keep it Goonerish................

Tuesday, 5 May 2009

Lets all blame Wenger

Lets get one thing straight here. No matter how much you want to blame Arsene Wenger for Arsenal being smashed up more than Ricky Hatton you can't.

You can't blame Wenger for Gibbs slipping and you can't blame Wenger for that Portuguese lady boy being able to kick a ball better than anyone in the world of football.

Trust me, it is fucking easy to blame Wenger but think about it. Was it really his fault that Arsenal were destroyed tonight? Not in my opinion.

Arsenal did everything we wanted at the beginning of the game. We got into United faces and made the kind of start we desired more than a bar of chocolate.

What happened? Lady luck kicked us hard in the bollocks that's what happened. I feel so bad for Gibbs. That poor little bastard. He was shattered after his slip and he wasn't the only one. The rest of the lads were too. They were killed off completely by the second.

Credit must go to Manchester United. I hate the bastards but they deserved to go through over the two legs. I also feel a little for Fletcher. At first I laughed but I suppose that was cruel. Nah, fuck him.

Keep it Goonerish............

Monday, 4 May 2009

Go on son, put yourself in the shop window

Last summer Emmanuel Adebayor was more sought after than a winning national lottery ticket. After the season he has had this time around I'd say he was as sought after as a dose of Swine flu or a left hook from Manny Pacquiao.

I was gutted by his behaviour last summer. I felt he disrespected Arsenal, Arsene Wenger and most of all, Gooners.

Its clear that all the attention he had went to his head. I only know two players with heads and ego's bigger than Ade's. Dimitar Berbatov and Robbie Keane. Maybe Lassana Diarra as well. But only because he has an abnormal dolphin shaped head.

I don't think his heart is at Arsenal anymore and I believe he should leave. But first he owes Arsenal, Arsene Wenger and most of all, Gooners, the two best performances of his life in the game with Manchester United tomorrow and the final in Rome.

A good performance tomorrow benefits both himself and Arsenal. It helps Arsenal progress to the final and it puts Ade in the shop window like a mannequin. If teams are prepared to offer Wenger bags of money then I reckon he will take it. And then laugh. Loads.

I supported Ade last season when people were having a pop at him but he doesn't deserve my support or anyone's after the lazy performances we have seen this campaign. We don't want a lazy performance like the one at Old Trafford last week. He was more lazy than a sloth.

I want the Ade of old. Full of running and causing loads of problems. Is that too much to ask? Only for two games?

Please don't believe it gives me pleasure to write this. It doesn't. I hate doing it but its the truth and sometimes the truth hurts more than a left hook from Manny Pacquiao. Ade needs to hear the truth.

Keep it Goonerish............

Blinding Arshavin chant!

I don't need to tell people not to leave silly comments do I? Hope not.

Many thanks to Mr Lawless.

Keep it Goonerish.............

Saturday, 2 May 2009

So where are the gobby Aston Villa fans now then?

It seems to be awfully quiet in one half of Birmingham this afternoon. You know why? Because any chance Aston Villa had of snatching fourth place from us has vanished. It's over.

A few months back I seem to remember plenty of Villans coming on this site and giving it large. Where are they now?

You see, the problem with giving it large it that there are always consequences. It tends to come back and bite you square on the arse and unfortunately my Brummie buddies, you have been bitten badly!

You should have listened. I told you that Arsenal would go on a long unbeaten run, Aston Villa would run out of steam and Arsenal would claim a place amongst the top four. It fell on deaf ears.

I'd like to mention that Aston Villa have had a season of playing out of their skins (mostly) and Arsenal, despite our long unbeaten run, haven't hit the high heights of last season and still Arsenal came above you.

This may even shut that muggy dogger Stan Collymore up now!

Rant over.............

In truth, despite Arsenal finishing in the top four comfortably it was quite refreshing to see Aston Villa make something that resembled a challenge to the top four.

Aston Villa will be about next season make no mistake about that and it's down to the Arsenal gaffer to strengthen our squad because Martin O'Neil will definitely strengthen his.

Villa need to take it step by step. They have a good squad, a great manager and the foundations of potentially making the Premiership top four a top seven alongside Everton and maybe Manchester City.

For Arsenal, yes, we have finished in the top four again but it's clear that we need to strengthen to become challengers for the title again. Arsenal have no divine right to be a top four side but its something we have become accustomed to in recent years. Is that enough? For some yes. For others no.

The threat of sides like Aston Villa and Everton won't go away. The Premiership has become the most difficult league to win and the standard raises every year. We need to move forward too.

Keep it Goonerish...................